Vulnerability (Part 7): The Distracted
- The Baldy Bishops
- Mar 27
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 22
When someone is being vulnerable with you, it is taking them real courage. It’s never easy to be vulnerable. This is a remarkably precious moment, and we should treat it that way.
If I am someone who listens poorly, people will probably struggle to be vulnerable with me. If I behave in a distracted way when someone is being vulnerable, I am essentially telling them that I’m not listening.
If I’m picking up my phone, checking my watch, clicking on my laptop, if my eyes are wandering around the room, if I have that glazed over look, if my body language is suggesting that I’m not engaged, if I’m watching TV, the person is not going to feel like I am carefully listening.
If we truly care about the person, we will care about matters to them, and we'll show that by listening well.
I’ve tried to pour out my heart to people before, only for them to pick up their phone and start texting others, while mumbling “mhm…right…yeah…”. I’ve tried to talk to people about hard things, only for them to open their laptop and start clicking away. I’ve begun sharing with someone, only for them to interrupt me to point out something funny or trivial happening around us. I usually find myself clamming up in these moments and becoming more and more reluctant to share.
I know I’ve been distracted. I’ve scrolled on my phone, I’ve let my thoughts wonder, I’ve had a distant expression as I mumble “huh” at what people are telling me. How unloving.
Who am I more likely to talk to? Someone who listens with care. Someone who closes the laptop, puts their phone away, focuses on what I’m telling them and looks like they are actively listening.
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